Gremlins ........................................................ 7
by Iain Paterson
Les Conards – the name sounded familiar but I just couldn’t place it. Was it the pop group fronted by short, falsetto-voiced, Glasgow-born, vocalist Jimmy Somerville? Could it have been the name of the estate agent who had offices throughout west central Scotland? Or was it a badling of French ducks, with or without the orange sauce? Turned out it wasn’t any of these - they were just a bunch of “imbeciles” mostly from Giffnock Hockey Club.
Gremlins struggled through the rush hour traffic yet again to test themselves against the ladies and gents of Giffnock and friends on a beautiful sunny evening at Mearns Castle High School. With only eleven Gremlins available and the weather being quite un-Scottish it promised to be a tough night for the guys and gals in green. With Les Conards favouring a kicking back rather than a goalkeeper, George Armstrong quickly divested himself of his keeper’s padding to assume that position for Gremlins.
The opening minutes were evenly contested and a bit of a battle for midfield supremacy as both sides sounded each other out. Gremlins did have an opportunity as early as the first minute when Jamie Mathieson went on a mazy run but couldn’t penetrate the home defence. Good play down the right by Gale Black looked promising for Gremlins but Les Conards defence closed ranks to impede her progress. Gremlins had the first attempt on goal after 3 minutes when Mathieson burst down the right and crossed for Colin McAdams whose first-time volley was just wide of the right-hand post. Les Conards first effort came after 5 minutes when their No. 16 took the ball past Armstrong but shot wide.
McAdams intercepted the ball deep in Les Conards territory after 9 minutes but couldn’t find his way through a tightly-packed home defence. Just as it looked as if Gremlins were beginning to get on top, Les Conards grabbed the lead after 10 minutes play. The home side broke down the right wing and shrugged off desperate tackles by Andy Paterson and Andy McKellar before squaring the ball for an attacker to knock home. Gremlins piled on the pressure in the search for an equaliser but their attacks were breaking down on the edge of the home ‘D’ as Les Conards’ defence held firm. Good play by Mathieson and McAdams looked likely to bear fruit but the final pass between the two went astray. Gremlins were back on level terms after 15 minutes when McAdams intercepted a Les Conards pass in their own half, burst forward and his perfect delivery was neatly clipped home at the far post by Nia Philips.
Gremlins upped the pace now and went close on 17 minutes when Paterson found McAdams after a mazy run but the striker’s shot was stopped on the goal-line and cleared. Mathieson made good progress down the right and picked out Kevin Kane on the edge of Les Conards’ circle but, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t cut his way through the massed ranks of the home defence. Gremlins went ahead after 21 minutes. McKellar’s intrusion into the midfield area caused confusion in the home rearguard and his inch-perfect pass was popped into the net from close range by Colin McAdams. The Gremlins striker could have had another goal moments later when Paterson surged past several Les Conards players and laid off the ball to Mathieson who completely missed it – it came through to McAdams at pace, but he swung wildly and failed to make contact. The ball was cleared but only as far as Rachel Whillans who combined nicely with Mathieson to get the ball back into the danger area where Kevin Kane pushed it to McAdams who, with the empty goal at his mercy, managed to shoot past the post.
Les Conards broke quickly downfield and had the ball in the Gremlins net seconds later but the ball had clearly come off an attacker’s foot during the move. From the hit out Armstrong found McAdams with a long pass and he cleverly took the ball past two defenders before pushing the ball wide of the target. Gremlins got the third goal that their pressure merited after 26 minutes. Andy Paterson picked up possession in his own half and strode forward, took the ball past five Les Conards defenders and firmly planted it in the net. The home side immediately hit back but Rose Fitzpatrick-Lane made a great tackle and sent Mathieson downfield clear with the ball. He lost control and Les Conards attacked again in numbers but Kevin Kane mopped up the danger with a timely intervention.
A good inter-passing move by Mathieson and Loretta Kane gave Kevin Kane possession on the edge of Les Conards ‘D’ where the home side conceded a free hit. The ball was pushed into the area but cleared as far as Paterson who fed Kevin Kane but his effort on goal was blocked and cleared. That proved to be the last major incident of the first half which was brought to a halt after only 30 minutes.
Half-time Score: Les Conards 1 Gremlins 3
The home side came out for the second period clearly intent on getting an early goal but their rapid attack was halted by Rose Fitzpatrick-Lane who made a vital interception allowing Paterson to clear the danger. Rachel Whillans and Mathieson worked the ball down the right and won a free hit after 32 minutes. The ball was played quickly back to McKellar but Les Conards’ defence picked off his pass into the circle. With Gremlins making most of the running in the early stages of the second half, Les Conards hit them with a swift break. Armstrong had pushed forward to support an attack which broke down and, despite McKellar’s best efforts the hosts were able to get the ball through for one of their ladies to pull a goal back at the far post after 37 minutes.
Mathieson went straight upfield from the push back and wriggled his way along the edge of the circle but his shot was cleared by Les Conards’ kicking back. Gremlins were determined to regain their two goal advantage and succeeded after 39 minutes with the best passage of play of the match. Paterson began the move with a pass to McKellar who supplied Gale Black on the right wing. Gale slipped the ball through to Nia Philips who squared the ball across goal where Kevin Kane had the easiest of tap-ins to make the score 4-2 to the visitors. Les Conards immediately responded and won a free hit off Paterson just outside the Gremlins ‘D’. The Gremlins midfielder made amends by recovering the ball as the hosts launched their offensive and began a counter attack involving Nia and Kevin Kane which the home side were eventually able to snuff out. Gremlins had another golden opportunity after 44 minutes when Paterson found McAdams with a wonderful lofted pass but the striker again pulled his shot wide.
Another great passing move from Gremlins involving Mathieson, Nia Philips and McKellar was finished by Kevin Kane whose shot was cleared off the line by Les Conards’ kicking back with 45 minutes played. Two minutes later Gremlins made it 5-2. Paterson made a fine interception in midfield, pushed the ball through to Nia Philips who flicked it past her marker into the circle allowing Colin McAdams to run in and guide it into the empty net. Les Conards were stung into retaliation and mounted a rapid attack down the right wing and drove the ball across goal where it was intercepted by Rachel Whillans. Rachel pushed forward and passed to McAdams who sprinted down the right before cutting inside and sending the ball through to Kevin Kane whose shot crashed into the net off the left hand post.
With 50 minutes on the clock McAdams clever pass played in Gale Black who managed to get her shot away despite being tightly marked but her effort finished up in the side netting. Gale was in the thick of the action and good work by her earned her side a free hit on the right. The ball was played back to Paterson whose long pass found Loretta Kane free on the left but her shot from an acute angle was cleared by Les Conards defence. Mathieson picked up a misplaced pass in midfield after 54 minutes and drove forward before finding McAdams whose dangerous ball across goal was just too far ahead of his advancing colleagues. McAdams was unlucky after
56 minutes when, after wriggling past a few defenders, his shot smacked off the base of the post and was cleared off the goal-line.
Paterson and Mathieson then carved out a good opening for Gremlins down the right wing but Mathieson’s burst into the circle was blocked by the home defence. Paterson was involved again a minute later feeding Loretta Kane who slipped the ball through to Nia Philips in the circle but her cut-back was picked up by Les Conards who cleared the danger. McAdams then had a shot block before Les Conards managed to reduce the deficit after 63 minutes. A swift break down the right was followed by a perfect cross into the centre and the ball slammed home. Gremlins, who had been a trifle complacent, immediately raced upfield and promptly restored their four goal advantage. Mathieson and McAdams went through the middle of Les Conards defence like a hot knife through butter and when Mathieson’s shot rebounded off the post Colin McAdams touched it over the line from only a few inches out to complete the scoring.
Full-time Score: Les Conards 3 Gremlins 7
This match proved to be a tough test for Gremlins. The lack of substitutes and the uncharacteristic weather conditions certainly took their toll on everyone but thankfully there were no Les Invalides. Once again the team performed pretty well although they were not quite as fluent as they were in their last two matches. There were no failures in the Gremlins side although I am recommending the name of a good optician to Colin who may have been suffering from double vision (the ball is supposed to go the other side of that post thing). A special mention goes to birthday girl Rose Fitzpatrick-Lane who frequently found herself up against Les Conards most potent attacker and acquitted herself very well. Gremlin-of-the-Game this week is Kevin Kane for his skill and trickery and for managing, despite the heat, to appear one minute deep in defence and the next on the opposition goal-line.
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